What’s your value and who defines it?
Recently, I went through an experience which made me question my value – and it got me thinking about what personal value is and who defines it.
At the end of October I was made redundant – I was expecting it and I’m okay with it as it gives me the space to try out new opportunities. What did take me by surprise was how the process impacted on my own sense of value.
Most of the time I have belief in my own value – I know my skills, my strengths as well as the way I help to have a positive impact in this world. But while going through the redundancy process I noticed that, in other areas of my life, I was trying much harder to prove my value to those I was working with. I really wanted others to recognise and comment on how I was helping and supporting them – which is unusual for me, as more often than not I’m content in knowing my value without having to hear it from others.
And it made me wonder what was happening to make me question my belief in my own value and made me look to others to tell me what I was doing well.
After talking this through with a colleague, it all came back to the redundancy. While I was okay with the outcome, I realised that the process of being made redundant made me question my own value and worth. My experience of the process was that it felt very impersonal – there were no personal reflections of thanks and it felt as though I’d slowly slid out the back door with no one noticing.
It took me by surprise how much receiving recognition and thanks from others could impact on my own self-worth.
And from this I’m taking away two thoughts – the first is what I can do to remember and hold onto my belief in my own value, which includes; continuing to quiet my inner gremlin which tells me I'm not important and taking a few moments each day to note down what I’m proud of and what I’ve done which aligns with my own purpose.
The second is the power of words and how helpful it can be to share with those around you what you see them doing and what you appreciate. So go on, what one thing can you say to someone to help them see their value in the world.
If you’d like to have a conversation about your value and what magic you bring to this world, drop me a message.